after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
