Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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