don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just sucked dick on a ferry
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
