That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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