Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
