It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
