found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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