I'm really into asian looking animals
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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