so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
