If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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