We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
