I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
