Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
