So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
