You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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