U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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