My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
