Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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