in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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