no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She needs sedatives and a leash
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
