miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
