like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
