I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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