he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
