non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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