i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
