I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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