I love black thongs
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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