You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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