i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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