Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
