piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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