How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
