Pants 0. Shit 1.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
