Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
