just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
