So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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