My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
