her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
