I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
