hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
