on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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