We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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