his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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