You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
it's like iHOP with fire
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
