My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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