Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
