dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
