Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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