your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
