im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
