Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
