yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
