plz talk dirty to me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
