You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
