Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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